A Different Approach to Communicating Concerns about Your North Carolina Worker’s Compensation Benefits
Most injured and sick workers who need to file for North Carolina workers’ compensation benefits describe themselves with words like “put upon,” “mistreated,” and so forth. A common theme is victimization. Larger, uncaring, powerful forces – such as employers, insurance companies, and even groups like the North Carolina Industrial Commission – either “have it out” for them personally or simply lack the compassion to give good care.
These feelings are totally understandable. Hurt workers often lack the resources, language and training to express their feelings and needs in a way that drives best results. This blog post will hopefully give you some ideas about how to approach your frustration with your North Carolina workers’ compensation issues more resourcefully.
Identifying Feelings and Needs
A PhD named Marshall Rosenberg developed an alternative way of communicating feelings and needs that he termed Non-Violent Communication, or (NVC). Don’t let the name fool you. When Dr. Rosenberg uses “non-violence,” he is not suggesting that we all become pushovers and let unfair employers walk all over us. Rather, he uses the term in the way that Gandhi intended it – as a more constructive, “win-win” a way of looking at the world. He suggests we view “negative” communications from others as “tragic expressions of unmet needs.” Essentially, when an employer mistreats you or misapprehends your claim, what he (or she) is really saying beneath the blame and contempt is something along the lines of “My needs for X are not getting met.” You use the NVC translation technique to tune into the employer’s feelings and needs and thereby get what you want faster and easier.
The NVC process is complex and extremely counterintuitive. You can learn more at the official website for Nonviolent Communications. But essentially the process involves four steps.
1. First, you identify an action in the real world and try to describe this action in objective language.
For instance, if an employer has not responded to your claim in 30-days, you don’t say “hey, you idiot, why haven’t you responded to my paper work??” You simply note the reality: “I submitted this claim 30-days ago, and I haven’t yet heard the response.”
2. The next step is describing how you feel.
This is your emotional reaction – don’t ascribe your emotions to the other person. Own them. In other words, you don’t want to say “you make me angry.” Rather, you want to say: “when I saw (observation) I felt (emotion, such as angry, frustrated, etc).”
3. Third, you identify your “unmet needs” that come up for you.
For instance, in our example, your unmet need might be for reassurance that your claim will be processed fairly and on time.
4. Lastly, you make an explicit request of the person using positive language – something that the person can do in real time.
For instance, you might ask your employer “will you please dispatch the paperwork within the next 2 days?”
There is a lot more to the NVC model, but this form of counterintuitive (and clunky at first) communication offers lots of interesting and exciting possibilities for open and resourceful engagement with others.
If you or someone you care about needs assistance with difficult employer conduct, a caring North Carolina workers’ compensation law firm can help.
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